July 21, 2008
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when antisocial behavior backfires
I'm in the habit of not answering the door or the phone. I tense up whenever I am outside and see a neighbor in their yard. What if they say 'hi'? What if they walk on over? I wish I was back in the country. Village life is too many people for me. And, too much talking.
Yesterday afternoon, my daughter and I were sitting on the sofa watching television. We were in full-on laid-back mode when I saw one of my neighbors walking up my sidewalk to the front steps. I motioned to X to slide down so that she couldn't be seen through the front windows. I scurried over and stood in a one-foot space between a wall and the media center, turned off the television and held my breath during the knocking. While I stood there, I could see through my dining room window that another neighbor, an elderly woman, was in her driveway and watching the whole (non) interaction. After a few minutes, I saw the woman who had knocked on the door walking back down the street ... and over to the other neighbor, where they talked and looked at my house. I wondered what they were discussing, but I was just happy to avoid, you know, talking to my anyone.
I took a big sigh of relief and slid myself back onto the sofa. The phone rang. I recognized the name on my caller ID as being that of my elderly neighbor. Sigh.
"Hi, Jodi. This is your-neighbor-that-offered-to-sell-you-an-extra-half-lot-of-land-and-then-changed-her-mind-when-the-market-dropped. Your car lights are on and I think you want to turn them off. You can call me when you get this. My number is 555-5555. Talk to you in a little while."
Damn it.
We waited ten minutes, attached the leash to Luna's neck, snuck out a side door that is NEVER-EVER-UNTIL-NOW used, and then came down the street in front of the house ... like we'd been out walking the dog the whole time. We went back into the house through our usual door, the front door, which is in full view of both neighbors' homes.
A few minutes after going inside, I sent X out to take the keys out of the car WHERE SHE LEFT THEM with the lights on when she went out to close the windows earlier.
Later this morning, when said elderly neighbor leaves to volunteer at her church, I'm going to call and leave a thank-you message on her answering machine.
Comments (23)
This bespeaks the need for a car remote controller. I would have just run out of the house after the call as if in a manic state, got in the car, drove off with the lights on, and returned with the lights off and a six-pack of beer.
oh my god!
that is an incredibly elaborate avoidance. and i can't help but think i'd do the same thing!
We should be neighbors. We could email if we wanted to talk or go out.
I completely understand this. I avoid it at all costs too. I don't even have a land line phone anymore, and I NEVER turn on my cell phone. It makes it all a little easier. I have a feeling I will have to change that a little when the baby is born. Nice job on using the side door...very clever.
I thought I was the only one on earth this anti social.:):) I have social anxiety that comes and goes. Sometimes I am completely normal and other times I have waves of social panic, mine is an actual disorder that I try to overcome everyday. I have experienced trauma in my life that influenced my nervous system and I developed panic attacks in my twenties. When I researched and realized what was going on I was able to try harder and give myself breaks when I behave strangely. I'm not saying you have all of this, you might just not want to talk to your neighbors-lol
You know I completely get this...
I can relate pretty well to this.
Maybe I'm torturing myself by living in the city. Then again, in a city like Toronto, you can still be alone amongst a few million. Most people have their eyes straight ahead.
Peace,
Shane
jodi!
love you
That definitely sounds like something I'd do.
Ha! You're amazing.
Isn't that just the way it goes? Sometimes people actually have a good reason for stopping by, no matter how much we'd like to avoid them. You were pretty clever with the dog/other door thing! I'm pretty anti-social, myself so I totally relate to this entry. When the doorbell rings my son is all too happy to screech out that it's ringing, that "Mommy, someone's at the door!!", while I'm seething at him to shhhhh, be quiet, I don't want to answer the door because then I have to talk to PEOPLE. Then, to make matters worse, he likes to rush over to the narrow window next to our front door, blocked only by a sheer white curtain, and peel it aside to peek out and see who is here. Usually, I'm able to catch him before he pulls the curtain aside, scolding him under my breath as I pull him away from the door. I'm also paranoid and check to make sure that the door is really locked because I'm convinced that people will get tired of the knocking and try to come into the house.
A lot of times my anti-social stance is well-deserved because we get a LOT of solicitors around here. Then, other times it's my neighbors' kids asking if they can go into the backyard to get back a ball that they threw there by accident. One time it was the neighbors coming to inform us that we'd left the garage door open (it was dark out by this time) and they were concerned about us keeping it open all night. I felt so goofy that time because it was another event of making a stink to my son to keep quiet because I didn't feel like answering the door, again, but they were insisitent with the knocking and doorbell ringing. Finally, I relented and answered it. I was thankful that they took the time to stop by because I didn't realize I'd left the door open and that's yet another thing I'm paranoid about -- someone getting into my house through the garage, or because I left the door unlocked. I don't think we even have much theft/breaking-and-entering around here, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't happen.
I only reserve such extravagance for avoiding religious people. But I can remark with a note of admiration on how adept you are at it.
@ilovebakedgoods - Oh, goodness. Me too! I was SO worrried that I'd left the door unlocked and that she'd try it.
I'm not sure how to respond to this blog.. other than I'll do the same thing if I am home alone & a UPS guy or something rings the doorbell. What I really want to know are your thoughts on the new Project Runway?!
jodi. SAME boat. jeez, like exactly the same. i think my mom may have helped start the trend with someone at the door. any time jehovas were at the door my mom would have us get down below window level and shush us. heh.
Um, I gotta step outside the collective box here and wonder why it wasn't easier to just answer the door?
*chuckle*
See, I have little ones. So...if someone calls or knocks on the door, I'm probably changing diapers.
For all they knew, you were folding laundry or something, you know? Don't sweat it.
Awesome!
One good thing about NYC is you don't really have to worry about your neighbors talking to you.
No one comes to my door and I like it that way. If they do, they're usually the Mormons, so I let them walk across to the manager's apartment, where they are berated and kicked out for ignoring the No Soliciting sign. So what if I stand below the window to hear the usually unpleasant exchange?
Lol, girl!!! That's just too much. But I do understand. I hate trying to be social with some people. I don't know about you, but I'm so outspoken that I usually end up making an ass of myself.. Either that, or I just can't get on their wavelength, and I just come off as weird. Maybe I am weird... I think so. I think that's it.
But it's alright.
I'm glad you saved your battery! Did you get to leave her a message?
~
@SuddenlyISee - I totally did not call and leave a message. I looked a few times to see if she had left, but her car is there whenever I check. Ahhh, it's too late now. She'll just have to think that I'm antisocial, which is true.
This is me. Exactly.
You should read the book "Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto"...it is delicious, anti-social, loner porn.
PEOPLE. *Shudder* They talk way too much. About nothing.
@Snevetsy_Lime - Oooh, thanks for the book recommendation. I'm going to add it to my library list right away!
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