September 26, 2008
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01000
It is true that I am scattered. I have spent seven years falling apart.
I cannot gather in hand, nor thought, nor photo, nor words, the person that I once was. And, certainly, not the disassembly that I now am. The nature of 'mystery-disease A', is that it destroys and, thus, fragments connections.
The class does not understand:
I. LOSE. DAYS.
And, now. I lose something important, that only moments ago I remembered. My memory is a deficit. I blink. Then, things go away.© JODI ANDERSON. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Comments (7)
gathering who we once were is like picking up leaves, trying to fit them into one another.
impossible though it seems so obvious, everything looks like it might belong, no matter how strange.
impossible. really. but we must.
and you ....
i feel for you.
i lost days, too,
but only because i secretly wanted to. for awhile. this is something else.
In some way... it's almost comforting to know I am not the only one.
I am trying so hard to keep it all cohesive. Too many years of hard work. Now I lose days. Weeks. Now I risk losing everything.
If you are a different person to what you once were, can it be that this is normal gradual change? Does it have to be loss?
@whonose - I have some serious medical conditions that have stolen much of my life, so I don't consider it "normal, gradual change", but I'm doing better now. This was written a few years ago, and I'm just reposting a series of 20 poems before I begin posting new work. I totally see your point, and so I do agree in general.
"disassembly" What a beautiful new noun.
this is excellent writing.
@soNOTcool - Ah, apologies I did not realise. But it's good that you're still getting all the meaning from this experience that you can, especially creatively.